Tales of the Lastborns : Marriage, Mischief, and Making Content
Dive headfirst into Tales of the Lastborns, where content creators Dave and Andi mix dark humor, some serious moments, sexy secrets, and chaotic confessions from their creative lives. From behind-the-scenes hilarity to WTF moments that you’ll never forget, this podcast pulls back the curtain on what it’s like to be a little unhinged—and a lot unapologetic. It’s seductive, it’s wild, and it’s exactly the chaos you didn’t know you needed.
Episodes
45 episodes
Why Gifts Are Overrated (But DoorDash Isn’t)
Dave and Andi tackle the chaos of marriage finances—joint vs. separate accounts, gift-buying disasters, and the anxiety of money secrets. Plus, a dive into Netflix’s The Hunting Wives and why their neighborhood is just as toxic.
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Season 1
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Episode 45
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25:10
Naked Cults, Zombie Barbies, and Other Things We Probably Shouldn't Talk About
This episode dives head-first into Andi's newest snack obsession that's destined for the dreaded "sun-kissed" graveyard. Dave invents a new reason to fear zombie apocalypses, while Andi imagines zombie Barbie dolls—because why not? Add in a hea...
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Season 1
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Episode 44
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30:49
Eye Contact? No Thanks, I’d Rather Set Myself on Fire
This week, Andi admits she’d rather set a room on fire than accidentally lock eyes with a stranger. Dave tries to decode her extreme aversion to eye contact, while Andi insists she can still see everything without ever looking up. They close wi...
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Season 1
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Episode 43
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31:56
Silent Disco at the Funeral Home
Ever wondered if you’d rather die at home or in a hospital? Neither had Dave and Andi—until they had to. This week they hilariously navigate through unexpected grief, questionable funeral protocols, and a business idea that's dying to be heard....
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Season 1
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Episode 42
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30:16
Scroll Fights, Sex Sounds, and Mexico Meltdowns
In this wildly personal episode, Dave and Andi break down everything from gender roles in furniture stores to a communication breakdown during Andi’s girls’ trip to Mexico. They get vulnerable about grief, personal differences, and yes—what hap...
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Season 1
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Episode 41
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26:54
Waving at Pancakes and Facing Death
Grief is just trauma’s annoying cousin that shows up uninvited—like Southwest’s fart-flavored snacks. Dave and Andi manage to move, mourn, and emotionally malfunction across state lines. Good luck finding a therapist better than this.
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Season 1
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Episode 40
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37:11
Age-Gated and Over It: Porn, Shame, and Parental Failures
What do Hobby Lobby, anal beads, and drive-thru baptisms have in common? According to Dave and Andi—everything. Join them as they talk about the dumbest new sex laws, why Utah is horny as hell, and how shame ruins everything (but also makes for...
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Season 1
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Episode 39
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34:20
Warning: Object Is Crazier Than She Appears
Who knew trash day could be that hot? Andi’s toxic love language will leave you gasping, while Dave’s warning label might just get him canceled. Also… someone said “Dora” during sex. Chaos.
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Season 1
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Episode 38
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34:59
Boobs, Builders, and Brown Recluses
In this episode, Dave and Andi take a hilarious, sexy, and slightly traumatic walk down memory lane as they revisit every home they’ve lived in over their 14-year marriage—from garter belts and ceiling fans to pool sex and brown recluse infesta...
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Season 1
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Episode 37
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32:17
Do These Boobs Make My Confidence Look Big?
Andi can’t close her mouth and Dave can’t stop touching her boobs. Also, Botoxed vaginas. Yeah, it’s that kind of episode. Join the Lastborns for an unhinged aesthetic deep dive you definitely don’t want to play on speaker at work.
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Season 1
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Episode 36
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34:32
Are We Swingers?
What happens when fantasies become reality—and reality isn’t what you expected? Dave and Andi unpack their journey through swinger spaces, compersion kinks, and why emotional connection is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
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Season 1
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Episode 35
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29:23
From Resting Bitch Face to Risma Glow
Andi’s ego death involved a thunderstorm, hallucinations, and her inner child whispering, “It’s all bullshit anyway.” Join Dave as he tries not to interfere while Andi floats off as vapor—and yes, she still keeps her snark.
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Season 1
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Episode 34
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33:30
Death of an Ego: Dave’s Accidental Psychedelic Spiral
Dave met God. Actually, no—he met himself. And an inner chipmunk named Todd. From accidental mega-doses to finger twitching, reality-bending, and a conversation with the universe, it’s one trippy-ass story. Bonus: Andi names her inner voice aft...
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Season 1
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Episode 33
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26:03
From Mushrooms to Mindset: How We Rewired Our Lives
Is it possible to heal old wounds with fungus? Tales of the Lastborns gets deeply personal this week — with stories of ego death, redemption, and why growing mushrooms might just save lives.
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Season 1
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Episode 32
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25:19
Two Thumbs Up and One in the Butt
We’re back from our wildest vacation ever—8 days of nudity, dancing, desserts, deep convos, and yes... butt stuff. Tales from Hedonism, Jamaica, where we stripped down literally and emotionally. Nothing was off limits—and nothing will be today ...
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Season 1
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Episode 31
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30:35
When HBO Taught Us About Sex (And Got It All Wrong)
What happens when you mix vodka, Washington DC, and a strict "no leaning" rule? Andy almost found out the hard way. Plus, she takes us behind the scenes of her days dominating car auctions, while Dave remembers his painfully awkward first time ...
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Season 1
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Episode 30
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27:18
Social Media Stalking & Why Dave Will Never Be Free
Andi’s handstands have taken over social media, but that’s not the weirdest thing happening in this episode. We’re introducing the Ghost Wife series—where Andi has died but refuses to let Dave move on. Plus, we talk about the fine line between ...
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Season 1
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Episode 29
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22:50
Why We No Longer Have Traditional Jobs… And You’ll See Why
When does a job stop being a job and start becoming a soap opera? From office sex with a city skyline view to unintentional stripteases in sales meetings, Dave and Andi unravel the scandalous side of their 9-to-5 past
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Season 1
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Episode 28
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33:34
Hand Sanitizer is Not Soap (and Other Crimes Against Humanity)
Urinal troughs, hand dryer ambushes, kids sticking their heads under stalls—public restrooms are absolute chaos. This episode is an unfiltered deep dive into the filth, the trauma, and the absurdity of using the bathroom outside your hom...
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Season 1
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Episode 27
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27:16
Monogamy, Madness, and The Fear of Losing Your Spouse to a Pickleball Champion
Is monogamy just a lie we all agreed to? In this episode, Dave and Andi tackle Wild Love Theory—a concept that suggests love should be limitless, fearless, and open. Sounds beautiful, right? Until you realize it means you might have to...
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Season 1
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Episode 26
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33:35
Hard Nipples, Sexting Strategies & Unsolicited Dick Pic Etiquette
Sexting: is it hot, or just an exhausting mental exercise? Dave & Andi break down the unexpected struggles of digital flirting, the chaos of autocorrect mid-sext, and why being left on ‘read’ in the middle of dirty talk is a c...
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Season 1
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Episode 25
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27:08
Ejaculation Laws, Snitches, and Tater Yanking: A Legal Nightmare
What happens if you get caught masturbating in Mississippi? A fine? A slap on the wrist? A full SWAT raid on your house? Dave & Andi dive into the completely real proposed Mississippi ejaculation law and try to figure out
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Season 1
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Episode 24
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32:07
Crazy Calls, Creepy Neighbors, and Nighttime Oddities
Join Dave and Andi as they recount a chilling yet hilarious house-buying story, complete with an anonymous tipster, power-posing neighbors, and an unexpected call. Plus, dive into the quirky details of their sleep habits and tips for navigating...
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Season 1
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Episode 23
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27:43
Sphere, Stiffler’s Mom, and Spontaneous Butt Stuff
In Episode 22, Dave and Andi recount their Vegas escapades, including a breathtaking Sphere concert, unforgettable people-watching (hello, Stiffler’s Mom!), and a tourist-trap Eiffel Tower adventure. They also explore their weird obsessions, li...
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Season 1
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Episode 22
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34:46
Weird Is the New Normal: Tales of the Lastborns Edition
Why do elevators feel like battle zones for introverts? What’s the deal with people who don’t use turn signals? And why does peeling a TJ Maxx sticker feel like winning the lottery? Find out in this hilariously weird episode!
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Season 1
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Episode 21
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29:22